15 days to final mbbs exam and yet i'm here.

I have certain issues that's lingering on my mind day and night, making focused studying rather difficult.

but anyways:

1. I do not know how to study. as always. I do not know whether what i'm doing is correct or not, but hey at least i'm doing something. have faith. Allah is near.

2. still can't improve myself in term of always wanting to win an argument. i'm sorry friends, I hope you guys can accept this part of me as it is. because if you can't, you probably should not be considered as my friends after all. i'm probably just born with it. i'm a rigid person and you know it. and change is fucking difficult.

3. one of my best friends is getting married! god i'm so happee. happier to know that the she doesn't even know the guy and the guy went straight to see her parents to ask for her hand in marriage. talk about a gentleman, huh? but still, I prefer if the guy at least introduce himself first to me. I guess. I can just imagine anyway. I don't see myself getting married in the near future.

4. i'm scared of observant people. F has always been observant. and in paediatrics posting there's this guy who is freaking observant and it scares the shit out of me. please don't. please don't observe me too much (or anyone else). even if you do, please keep it quiet. because I really hate how observant people know me better than I know myself sometimes. you people are scary.

5. it's difficult to stay focused in studying when all you do is think of where to go for post graduation trip. I mean, obviously Europe, but which countries in toto? how long? where to stay? i'm not a backpacker kind (and I need the observant guy to tell me this). I spend money because I have money. I mean, why not. but Europe is freaking expensive, so idk. I hope we can still manage to stay in a hotel in each country, not a hostel. I hope.

6. I cant believe how fat I am these days. my bmi finally reached 23. dammit. i'm officially overweight. based on Asian scale obvs, because im Asian. but hey, aint nobody got time to give up on desserts. exercise? I do but probably will just burn at most 200kcal each time. how la.

7. going to library tomorrow. I should sleep.

8. obviously i'll shut down the laptop and then listen to john mayer on my phone, while stalking danny jones and tom fletcher and xiaxue and paul Wesley and whoever I stumbled upon in the explore page because I have nothing else better to do.